As you will know if you follow my blog, I have a very tight, shallow vagina. This isn’t a problem when I’m just masturbating, because - obviously! - I go to great lengths to find sex toys that fit my anatomy. But it is a problem when attempting penetration with an average-sized biological penis, and this is something I wanted to address.
In order to do so, I decided to purchase dilators. Dilators are phallic objects, rather like dildos, but not designed for sexual stimulation. Instead, they are meant to be a gentle way to progressively lengthen and widen the vagina over a period of time (with regular use). You buy a set of dilators in a range of sizes, and work your way up to inserting and gently thrusting the larger ones. For more information on using dilators, see my how-to post.
The dilators I ended up choosing are from the Soul Source company, which specialises in making dilators. Aside from these ones, they also create a line of hard plastic dilators, but I wanted something softer so I got the silicone ones.
Because I ordered these products from overseas, they had a customs declaration of the contents on the box. Back then, I didn’t know that this was a legal requirement, and I was alarmed that there was any kind of description of the contents on the box. I can’t remember exactly what the wording was, but it was suitably vague, something like “sterile medical equipment”. But I still felt awkward picking it up from the post office!
The dilators come with a storage bag, but fitting all 4 side by side is a tight squeeze. Furthermore, since the dilators are made of silicone they need to be kept separated to avoid them damaging each other, but the bag has no separators. I ended up buying toy bags and putting each alternating dilator (the ones I wasn’t currently using) in a toy bag INSIDE the storage bag.
You will definitely need to invest in toy bags if you buy the “full” set, which contains 8 dilators, since you won’t be able to fit them all in the storage bag.
Soul Source makes 6 different sets of these dilators: a small, medium, and large set each consisting of 4 progressively larger dilators, a “progressive set” consisting of 4 dilators that span the entire range of sizes, and a “full set” which contains all 8 available sizes. You can see all these different options here. You can also buy each size individually, but buying a set is cheaper than buying the same number of individual dilators.
When dilating, you should start with the largest diameter you can consistently, comfortably insert, and work up from there. For me, this is 1 inch, so I chose the “large set”, which ranges from 1in to 1.6in diameter.
Here are some comparisons with large and small dildos I have.
These dilators are made of glossy medical-grade silicone that has a comfortable squishiness, but is very firm and not easily bent. The glossiness makes them easy to insert, but for dilation it’s especially important to use lube (only water-based, so as to not damage the silicone).
Soul Source describes the silicon as having a “texture that resembles body tissue”, which is a bit of a stretch. They just feel like silicone to me. That said, while I don’t think these are dual-density silicone, they have a bit of that outer-squishiness feeling which makes them slightly more organic feeling.
Each dilator is straight and tapers to a slightly wider base. The tip of the dilator is gently pointed. This shape ensures easy insertion and makes them easier to insert deep.
However, it really doesn’t hug the curves of the body. To be fair, they probably wouldn’t work as dilators if they DID hug the curves of the body, but..
If I move at all - even the upper part of my body, which I guess causes muscles elsewhere to tense up or shift - the dilator stabs me quite painfully. Contributing to this is the firmness of the silicone, which doesn’t bend easily at all.
I like to contrast the experience of using these dilators with using my Tantus Compact, a dildo not at all intended for dilation, but certainly suitable for it. The Compact is made of very soft, bendable silicone and shaped perfectly to caress my inner anatomy. It couldn’t stab me even if I tried.
These dilators are super comfortable to insert, designed to be as smooth and slippery and provide as little discomfort as possible.
In spite of their phallic appearance, there is no way you could mistake these for sex toys once you insert them. They really provide no sexual stimulation at all, and that’s on purpose.
Unfortunately, I’m not able to really comment on their effectiveness because I’ve never managed to maintain a regular dilation routine! However, on the few occasions that I’ve dilated regularly for an extended period, I’ve felt they helped.
I chose these dilators because they were the only silicone dilators on the market that offered the range of sizes I need. I’m reasonably happy with them and I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend them to others. However…I also wonder whether I might have more success with dilators that have a slight curve to them and more flexibility. Interestingly, Soul Source’s rigid plastic dilators DO have this kind of curve, which makes me wish I got those instead, even though they’re not silicone and I prefer a bit of squish.